Tuesday, December 20, 2005

You know you're Hispanic when...

You grew up scared of something called "el coco".
Dinner usually consists of rice, beans and some type of meat.
You were raised of Goya products
You have ever used your nose or lips to point something out.
You've ever dropped food on the floor, picked it up, ate it after saying, "Lo que no mata engorda".
You've been hit by a chancleta.
You constantly refer to cereal as "con flei".
You can tell the difference between arroz canilla and everything else.
People tell you to stop screaming when you`re really just talking.
You've gone outside your house with rulos and chancletas.
You've been hit with either the cord of the plancha or la correa.
You know when your mom is sneaking up on you because you hear the "clack clack" her chancletas.
Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and your in the next room.
You start celebrating before you even win a lotto and next thing you know you don't.
Your house has all of those little figuras that take up every inch of space on/under the TV and you have either one of the following: a porcelain cat, dog, owl, of elephant in your living room.
Your sofa is covered in plastic.
If you know who Don Francisco and Cristina are.
If you go to a wedding or some gathering, gossip about how bad the food is, but are the first to get a plate to go.
If you`re sister has more moustache hair than your father (lmao j/k)
If your uncle or relative down the street owns more gold than the jewlery shop down the street.
If you can dance merengue, cumbia, and salsa without music.
If you use manteca instead of olive oil and cant figure why your a$$ is getting bigger.
If you just cant imagine anyone not liking spanish food.
If you`ve been in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it, with a person shouting, "entren, que caben mas!"
If you call your sneakers "tenis"
If your car has speakers in it that could drive a def man crazy.
If you have at least 30 cousins
If you start clapping when your plane lands on the runway.
If you say crazy things like "me cago en diez" or "me cago en na'a"
If you consider platanos to be a food group
If when in your country u hear the neighbors screaming "se fue la lus!"
If you eat mangu or fritos with ketchup
If all your pots and pans are kept inside the oven